The Egg's Q & A

What kind of breakfast food gives you lots of energy?

Gas.

How do I put my Facebook info on my MySpace page?

Huh? Why don't you try going out a bit, getting some fresh air, maybe meeting people in person, whom you know are flesh and blood? I recommend that instead of trying to double your presence in "social networking" sites, you completely remove it and try interacting with somebody in real time, live, in full color and the same space. Or better yet, if you're going to be a hermit, be one fully. No contact with the outside world. After all, you must be secluded because of past disappointments, you better make sure you don't experience any more. And spare us your immediate presence.

How should I prepare for NTSE along with my school studies?

Oh, the very famous National Talent Search Exam. Yeah... that when you search the acronym on Google, the page asks if you got the spelling right. It looks very important. From what I understand, you just have to make sure you're Indian (discrimination!) and be able to fill out little circles, because it's multiple choice. I personally advice you pick any answer, but ones that never make out a drawing on the paper, that's usually not right. I wish you luck, and may your next exam be more prestigious and not so racist.

Should I get Invisalign?

Today everything must be googled. I mean, my complete and absolute wisdom on any subject renders encyclopedias obsolete. Yes, that. Much better. Ok, Invisalign is some sort of transparent retainer that is on occasion either more or less pathetic than a metal one. When you can't tell an adult has an Invisalign on, it's all good. When you do tell, and that's quite often, it's very sad that on top of having to wear braces, they're such suckers to believe that they can hide the fact. In other words, if you have crooked teeth, I'd rather you wear one of those retainers they have to put on you with a metal helmet that cages your whole head. That way I can mock more explicitly.

What works for a great inexpensive Halloween costume?

If you're a young, attractive woman, of course your best option is going naked and saying you're disguised as a nudist. However, if you don't meet those requirements, there's a variety of alternatives that may be useful.

Anyway, the most comfortable thing is to change some detail of your appearance. For example, last year I put on a pair of glasses, and went to a party dressed up as "Nearsighted Egg". This year I'm planning on wearing a watch, and going as "Punctual Egg". Which may be contradictory, because I think I'm gonna be late.

The Egg.